Gender Bender
by Artificial Dreams
Summary: There were Major Events in The World, both online and off... and then there were Minor Events, that somehow... became bigger events. yuriHaSila and yaoiHaSila. 'Cause the author is that messed up.


When CC Corp held Events, generally they went all-out. On the other hand, on occasion they would hold "mini-Events" for the players. These were, more or less, designed to keep them sated until the next major holiday or occasion for The World to get all of those lovely patches for the bigger Events with all of the pretty new items. In this case, the next big Event was another two months away so to keep the fans from creating chaos in their impatience THIS mini-Event was created. Initially, Ryou wanted to know what twisted mind came up with this ridiculous idea. What individual could be so demented, so off his or her rocker as to hatch a plan like this?

And then he checked his e-mail, and got his answer: Piros the Third. Honestly, he should have seen that one coming. This kind of nonsense all but screamed the graphic designer's name. The cincher was when he read the e-mail and his eyes landed on the one line: _I hope you enjoy today's mini-Event He of Fair Eyes - or should I say __**SHE**__ of Fair Eyes!_ It was as if the Heavy Axeman was asking Haseo to return to his Player-Killer-Killing ways - regardless of the fact Piros probably never PKed anyone. Unless one included the fact he unknowingly associated with a PKer of who did not even know she was a Player-Killer. Why did he attract all of the weirdoes? Was it the leather his PC wore originally? Did that scream, "Hey I'm into bondage and all kinds of other weird-ass shit, so you cannot freak me out?" If so, suddenly he was grateful about his hacked character even if the events that led up to it were less than desirable.

Honestly, he had no desire in the slightest to get log onto The World and experience the mini-Event. Even if one of the areas was supposedly hiding a one-time only rare item. He might have been more inclined were he a rare hunter, but no. Instead, his current 'name' in The World was Emperor, Canard Guild Master, or the odd Terror of Death. While he no longer went by the nickname, those who had taken a break between his being the Terror of Death and leaving the title had the excuse they simply did not know. The rest were just idiots trying to goad him into a PvP. Those idiots usually found out doing so was a stupid idea pretty quickly.

Regardless of his apprehension though, he still made a promise. Before the exact details of the mini-Event had been released, he had assured Silabus and Gaspard that he would join the two in whatever quest that came with it. Even after the details were released the two Canard members still wanted to go through with it, and Ryou merely groaned. Of course they would want to. They did not care their PCs were getting a temporary sex-change, all that mattered was having fun in The World. If this could even be called fun.

Typing in his username and password, Ryou patiently waited for the game to load-up. What would the PCs look like? Not that he was curious, or anything. More of, who was he more afraid of seeing? As Haseo opened his eyes, they quickly widened. Saku and Bo. That was a mind-fuck waiting to happen. Bo would look like Saku, and Saku would look like Bo. There were all kinds of things wrong with that picture. Even if they shared the same PC, the subtle alterations the two made based on who had control was enough to give a guy fair warning when he was away. Rewinding, the Adept Rogue settled realizing that considering the two already adjusted their PC to begin with, even with the mini-Event in place he would still have warning. He did not mind Bo, and he was even fond of Saku… but he really did not feel like dealing with her today.

Pi and Yata were another two he did not want to see. Both for obvious reasons - one, Yata's chest was half-covered. He also had facial hair on his PC, which would make him the bearded lady of The World. Pi on the other hand… she was essentially wearing a bikini. A man wearing a bikini? Haseo could do without, please and thank you. Atoli… Atoli would probably look like a bishounen from one of those flashy, romance anime or manga series. And considering Haseo was friends with Endrance, he was pretty desensitized to seeing that on a daily basis. Speaking of the purple blade-brandier… awkward as it was to admit, he probably would not have made a half-bad woman. Quietly, the Adept Rogue tried to figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Hiiragi was probably jizzing 'her' pants somewhere in The World. This led him to another bare-chested male: Matsu. Another negative on seeing today. While on the subject of redheads… Alkaid would make a… interesting man. There was no other way to describe it. The more he thought about it, the more he was really considering just canceling. Those two could fend for themselves - he certainly helped level them up enough to be able to by this point. Just as he was about to type up a shortmail saying so, he found he was receiving one instead.

_Gaspard says he can't come. ) : Apparently when he found out Kuhn logged in, he flashbacked to when we first met him… haha… Guess it's just you and me. : ) Unless you want to invite Atoli along? She's online. He. You know what I mean! x )_

-Silabus

When they first met Kuhn? What in the hell kind of meeting did they have? Haseo glanced at his Member Addresses, trying to decide if he really wanted to deal with this anymore than he had to. If Gaspard cancelled, then Silabus would pretty much be on his own were Haseo deciding to follow suit. The Adept Rogue sighed, rubbing his temples in frustration. _Thanks Gaspard… and while I'm at it, thanks a bunch as well, Kuhn._ And then a catcall caught his ears. The silver-haired teenager ignored it, mostly because he was assuming it was being aimed at someone else.

"Not bad." Came Pi's voice. _Oh. Just who I wanted to see…_ cringing, Haseo turned around to face the music. "And here I expected you to not even join in the festivities." She commented, quirking an amused brow at her fellow ex-G.U. member. Or rather, he. She. Whatever. Mentally, Haseo decided to just think of everyone as their original genders - not today's special ones. Pi was… well, there were uglier men out there. From what he could gather, she edited her PC somewhat heavily to make the impact of being male for a day less traumatic for everyone (but more than likely herself). The PC's hair was still pink, but instead of the pigtails the hair was down to her waist. The red bikini imitation of an outfit was replaced by a red vest with a white shirt beneath it, and she had on a pair of red pants - but she kept the red glasses and heels on, adding on a few extra inches to her overall height.

"You're still an old hag." Haseo shrugged indifferently. When Pi's eyes narrowed, he quickly backtracked to correct himself. "But your modifications are appreciated." Her face resumed a pleasant smile, while she made a motion at the other.

"Have you checked yourself out yet? You got lucky - doesn't look like you need to make any adjustments. Most male PCs were lucky that way." She snorted, rolling her eyes in a subtle gesture of _sexist pigs_. "Who knows about Kuhn though? He says he can't stand the thought of all his beautiful ladies being men." This comment was followed by a derisive snort. "I think he's just afraid of liking it too much." Normally, banter with Pi was more annoying than much else - but that got him to crack a grin.

"I've seen myself from behind, but I don't look much different." Haseo replied with a shrug.

"Rotate your camera. See the front. Of course, you have nothing on my PC in the front." Pi guided him, even though he already damn well knew how to do this. Ignoring her words (which sounded too much like an NPC tutorial - fuck that woman had been working as an admin for too long), the Adept Rogue instead pulled up his stats screen. Well then. He did not look any different than normal, aside from the two mounds now located on the character's chest. Haseo had to hand it to Piros - he did a pretty good job of making at least this Adept Rogue's sex change look more natural and less awkward. "See? Not bad."

Haseo shrugged her comments off, even if he agreed with her. "Anything else?" Came the inquiry, boredom wriggling its way into his tone. The faster he took care of business, the sooner this whole ordeal was over. Pi gave another one of her snorts.

"Making your character grope itself is a form of masturbation, which counts as cybering. Don't do it - it's in the TOS. You agreed to it - don't break it." With those words of wisdom released upon the surrounding area, a few of the less mature players giggled while other's faces suddenly burned a bright red. Haseo tried to ignore the fact that a slight tinge came to his face, and simply resumed walking. He could invite Atoli, but would she really be interested? A healer would be immensely helpful. Probably make the dungeon move faster. Shooting her off a shortmail, he did not receive a response until he arrived at Canard.

_No - I'm so sorry Haseo! I'm already doing the event with Alkaid and Endrance. I'm so sorry! Maybe when we're finished…?_

-Atoli

It took a couple of extra seconds for his brain to wrap around the idea that Alkaid and Atoli were partying with **Endrance** of all people. Was he… missing something? Curiosity piqued, he hurriedly sent her a shortmail asking how that happened. A small ding answered this response quicker which surprised him some.

_Ah… funny story, really. We asked a bunch of people to join us, but most of them already had a group… except Endrance. And he had nothing better to do… so here we are! Hahah… hah… it's really awkward…_

-Atoli

_I can only imagine,_ the Adept Rogue thought with a quirked brow. Those three hardly knew one another, and once upon a time Endrance had all but been Alkaid's mortal enemy. As for Alkaid and Atoli, they were always trying to one up the other on something or another. He mused how long that truce was going to last. Well, for the time being that was not his problem (but knowing that trio of trouble, later on it was going to be). Red eyes peered around Canard, as he tried to pinpoint where his friend was. If no one else, Haseo knew he was going to be comfortable around Silabus and Gaspard. The two were relaxed, and while he knew they would make jokes… the jokes would be harmless, and probably nothing too different from the other times they hung out in The World.

But now the Shadow Warlock retreated, apparently afraid of Kuhn for some reason that Haseo did not want to think too deeply on, which left him alone with Silabus. _I can handle that though_, he thought with confidence that came from winning three tournaments in a row. A fact he would prove, once he located the other. After scouring the guild twice over, he finally had to admit defeat - the Blade Brandier was not in the guild. Where they were supposed to meet. Go figures. Taking a deep, controlled breath he took matters into his own hands - and using Silabus' Member Address, invited the other into his party. He was not going to play Hide-n-Seek with anyone today. A satisfying ping made itself heard.

_Sorry! I'm on my way!_

-Silabus

Ready to put his foot down, Haseo decided he would accept no excuse short of some kind of lagging problem. But knowing the brunette's love of running The World at its best and most grandeur, he highly doubted that was the issue. Last time any sort of lag threatened Silabus' computer, the other all but ran it to the computer doctor that very second. Did not matter he was in the middle of a boss battle, not in the slightest. Tapping his foot impatiently, the sound echoed as the Death Grunty joined in - though the little bastard was doing it entirely because now IT was annoyed and wished Haseo to know. "Bet you make an adorable cross dresser." The silver-haired teenager mumbled under his breath.

"Sorry I'm late!" Silabus called, slowing from a run to a walk as he neared the other. "I was stocking up on potions, and then I kept getting stopped by some… girls…? …that needed help with some words at the Warp Gate."

"…right. Atoli's busy, so it looks like it's just the two of us." Were Haseo having this conversation with almost anyone else, he would have thought they were bullshitting him. But no, this was the type of person the brunette was - for better or for worse. Much like his own PC, Silabus' did not need any real alterations to it. The temporary 'breast implants' gave the Blade Brandier more of a figure, but not much outside of that changed. A figure. Right. Why didn't he notice that about his on PC earlier? Giving a shrug, he motioned the brunette to follow him.

"Can we do the area with just two of us?" Silabus called after, trailing after Canard's guild master even with his doubts. A roll of shoulders was his reply.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** As usual, there's a good reason I don't own the dotHack series/franchise. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IF I DID, DOTHACK/LINK WOULD BE OUT BY NOW. Instead of the stupid manga. _Grumbles  
_**A/N:** I have no idea if I'll continue with this. Just... a random idea I got one day. And because there are hardly any updates in the HaSila fandom I DUMP HERE. YOU ENJOY. BE INSPIRED, WRITE SOME TOO. Waaaaant moooaaarrrr... _Moans and groans, wriggling about like some sort of fangirl zombie_


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